No1.Askhole 

Definition: a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

For EXP:I’m sure stock brokers and lawyers can quickly think of dozens of askholes from among their clientele. That’s not to mention management consultants, counsellors, teachers, parents, and so on —all of whom have dealt with askholes.

No2.Masturdating

Definition: going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

For EXP: Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating.

No.3 Bedgasm

Definition: a feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity.

For EXP:It was a three hour drive in the middle of the night, I could barely stay awake. When I got home, I climbed under the covers and had a ten-minute bedgasm.

No.4 Textpectation

Definition: The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.

For EXP: I just texted her for a date – but now the textpectation is killing me.